The core of my being has always believed in the power of connection, in 'relationality' as the essence of why we are here and how we can survive any heartache. Feeling beaten over and over and yet still finding a way to call out from the bottom of the well. It didn't feel easy, but it felt necessary. Connection to another felt like the compass back to myself. This long journey to motherhood, crushing as it has been at times, has challenged me to value myself, my gifts, my resilience, my voice and my needs in ways I never thought possible. It's awkward and messy, but I can hear a deafening roar inside now. I know I'm in that roar and I know I matter. Learning to translate the power of that roar into a language that resonates both internally and externally feels like the most sacred of tasks right now. I am deeply grateful for your stewardship in this process xx
"It's awkward and messy, but I can hear a deafening roar inside now. I know I'm in that roar and I know I matter. Learning to translate the power of that roar into a language that resonates both internally and externally feels like the most sacred of tasks right now." This spoke straight to my heart! Thank you for sharing, Emma.
I often put the two at odds - either accepting myself or moving towards growth. Helpful to think that these actually work together. And a beautiful concept of love, to love someone towards growth!
I often hold as truth that my "labor" and transformation is best done alone, in the quiet. I usually choose to suffer silently and find it difficult to reach out to others in those moments. Probably somewhat societal in nature, and I also grew up in an environment where crying out for help was met with "shush" and being called a "drama queen." Not fair for a young girl or a grown woman in pain. Thank you for reminding us what true love - both for ourselves and what we should expect from others - means. Showing up, holding hands and reminding us in our pain and blurry vision when to "push!"
This sounds familiar, K. Asking for help continues to stretch me, too. But I’ve found that what waits on the other side of that risk is almost always connection. Even if it's just a deeper connection with my own truth.
It was nice to remind myself that even in the face of the 'daily deluge' you referred to, there are good people, we are good people and there are more of us than we might think. Experience of being ill-treated by others through this fertility journey can create big walls - perceived protection, but in reality - those walls are isolation creators! I don't know how good I am in terms of reaching out to friends when it comes to this fertility journey. I've always considered myself more of a 'fixer', so you'll hear from me when I've fixed the issue, but I do 'reach out' with my husband and I look for other means of support which feel 'safer' to me. Is there room for growth on this? 100%. What has stood out to me in the circles recently, is that point of connection with other women, it's not a moan 'fest', but a real solidarity in how much we have already overcome, how much we have learned and how much we are still learning. I've al lot of admiration for my co-circle attendees and in writing this (literally just now) - it's opened my eyes to how I view them (with empathy, pride, respect, hope, cheerleading) - I need to do this with myself - more often, more consistently, from a place of power and considered choice. I've seen the shift and the possibilities in myself, but to appreciate it in other women and see everyone continue to 'turn up' for themselves - it provides me with a lot of hope.
Yes. We're definitely not going for a "moan fest" in our support circles. I, too have great admiration for the level of openness we get to witness in each other. Thank you for these reflections!
I get stuck on adoring the person I am today. We are all created imperfect - it is hard to let go of that desire for myself or others to be perfect. How can we be mad at children for not being perfect. What can we tell our children when they are not perfect. Perfect, of course, is not a realistic expectation for anyone. So many people are very imperfect. The only thing I know to do when someone is, in my opinion, so imperfect is to pray for them. Then we work with other human beings who are either easy or hard to love on a continuum. Maybe as far as adoring myself I could say, after not being perfect, Hey, nobody's perfect . What can I learn from this. And then there's the people at work who may behave in a not very spiritual way - I guess I have to look to see if there is something I can adore about them and try saying prayers
I hear you. Not easy to send love to the people who hurt us. How lovely that you have a prayer practice to support you in acting as compassionately as you're able to toward them.
Currently grieving the disappointment and sheer exhaustion on the journey towards our child. So reading this was especially useful. To rethink or rebrand eating healthy, etc etc as being consistently committed to our own becoming—and expressing that commitment through genuine, thoughtful acts of care.
The core of my being has always believed in the power of connection, in 'relationality' as the essence of why we are here and how we can survive any heartache. Feeling beaten over and over and yet still finding a way to call out from the bottom of the well. It didn't feel easy, but it felt necessary. Connection to another felt like the compass back to myself. This long journey to motherhood, crushing as it has been at times, has challenged me to value myself, my gifts, my resilience, my voice and my needs in ways I never thought possible. It's awkward and messy, but I can hear a deafening roar inside now. I know I'm in that roar and I know I matter. Learning to translate the power of that roar into a language that resonates both internally and externally feels like the most sacred of tasks right now. I am deeply grateful for your stewardship in this process xx
And I'm deeply grateful for you, Emma, thank you for these reflections. xoxo
"It's awkward and messy, but I can hear a deafening roar inside now. I know I'm in that roar and I know I matter. Learning to translate the power of that roar into a language that resonates both internally and externally feels like the most sacred of tasks right now." This spoke straight to my heart! Thank you for sharing, Emma.
I often put the two at odds - either accepting myself or moving towards growth. Helpful to think that these actually work together. And a beautiful concept of love, to love someone towards growth!
Yes, it does feel like a relief to me too!
I often hold as truth that my "labor" and transformation is best done alone, in the quiet. I usually choose to suffer silently and find it difficult to reach out to others in those moments. Probably somewhat societal in nature, and I also grew up in an environment where crying out for help was met with "shush" and being called a "drama queen." Not fair for a young girl or a grown woman in pain. Thank you for reminding us what true love - both for ourselves and what we should expect from others - means. Showing up, holding hands and reminding us in our pain and blurry vision when to "push!"
This sounds familiar, K. Asking for help continues to stretch me, too. But I’ve found that what waits on the other side of that risk is almost always connection. Even if it's just a deeper connection with my own truth.
It was nice to remind myself that even in the face of the 'daily deluge' you referred to, there are good people, we are good people and there are more of us than we might think. Experience of being ill-treated by others through this fertility journey can create big walls - perceived protection, but in reality - those walls are isolation creators! I don't know how good I am in terms of reaching out to friends when it comes to this fertility journey. I've always considered myself more of a 'fixer', so you'll hear from me when I've fixed the issue, but I do 'reach out' with my husband and I look for other means of support which feel 'safer' to me. Is there room for growth on this? 100%. What has stood out to me in the circles recently, is that point of connection with other women, it's not a moan 'fest', but a real solidarity in how much we have already overcome, how much we have learned and how much we are still learning. I've al lot of admiration for my co-circle attendees and in writing this (literally just now) - it's opened my eyes to how I view them (with empathy, pride, respect, hope, cheerleading) - I need to do this with myself - more often, more consistently, from a place of power and considered choice. I've seen the shift and the possibilities in myself, but to appreciate it in other women and see everyone continue to 'turn up' for themselves - it provides me with a lot of hope.
Yes. We're definitely not going for a "moan fest" in our support circles. I, too have great admiration for the level of openness we get to witness in each other. Thank you for these reflections!
I get stuck on adoring the person I am today. We are all created imperfect - it is hard to let go of that desire for myself or others to be perfect. How can we be mad at children for not being perfect. What can we tell our children when they are not perfect. Perfect, of course, is not a realistic expectation for anyone. So many people are very imperfect. The only thing I know to do when someone is, in my opinion, so imperfect is to pray for them. Then we work with other human beings who are either easy or hard to love on a continuum. Maybe as far as adoring myself I could say, after not being perfect, Hey, nobody's perfect . What can I learn from this. And then there's the people at work who may behave in a not very spiritual way - I guess I have to look to see if there is something I can adore about them and try saying prayers
I hear you. Not easy to send love to the people who hurt us. How lovely that you have a prayer practice to support you in acting as compassionately as you're able to toward them.
Currently grieving the disappointment and sheer exhaustion on the journey towards our child. So reading this was especially useful. To rethink or rebrand eating healthy, etc etc as being consistently committed to our own becoming—and expressing that commitment through genuine, thoughtful acts of care.
Sending much love as you take tender care of yourself, dear Radha!
Forgot to add the quotation marks around your lovely words, Julia, before posting !
didn't notice:)