Sing Your Joys, Sing Your Sorrows: Six Lessons From My Father
My father was not a self-help guru or a psychologist, but looking back, I realize how many of my deepest values were shaped by watching him navigate joy, grief, uncertainty. Here are a few lessons he taught me—not only through his words, but through the way he lived.
• Keep choosing life. No matter what.
• Humanize, humanize, humanize every room you enter. The cranky nurse in the palliative care unit? She’s having a tough day, just like you. Flirt with her. Make her laugh.
• If you find something—or someone—to love, go all the way. Don’t worry about what it looks like to anyone else.
• Be a giver.
• Sing your joys and your hurts. Just don’t keep them bottled up inside.
• Never, ever, EVER underestimate anyone. The greatest teachers don’t always arrive wearing fancy robes.
I know that not all of us had a loving father, but almost everyone was left with something—a gift, a burden, a lesson, a longing, a story. What is one thing your father—or someone who stepped into that role—taught you that has stayed with you over the years?
I’d love to read your stories.
Happy Father’s Day wishes to everyone practicing the sacred art of fathering,
Julia
My (also Czech) father gave me optimism and hope. He was very happy-go-lucky.
I did have a relationship with my father. It was a challenging one growing up. My dad had a model of a neighbor where the whole family followed through on whatever the dad wanted - in this case a family business - so the result, in my dad's eyes, was happiness. So he tried to create that with us. But we resisted following the plan and hence were not happy following it. There were to do lists we dreaded to see. My dad was very good at providing for us even when having some gaps in his career. To the end of his life he was committed to learning and I think that is a good thing. Towards the end of his life he told me all the things I was longing to hear growing up and I am very grateful for that !! Since he was very focused on providing while we were growing up he didn't always have a lot of energy for us which included being very involved in what was important to us. I'm glad we were able to be healed later in life. One thing I remember reading in a paper that I thought was helpful was that someone's father had said to them "if it can be fixed with money it's not a problem" I like that.